How to Kill a Friend

“One must never set up a murder. They must happen unexpectedly, as in life.”-Alfred Hitchcock

friends having fun

Do him in

It’s difficult to deal with people, everyone will agree. We all have our own ideas and ways of doing things. Sometimes our better thoughts take over and we sink into the lower realm of common sense. Maybe the thought of your friend taking the last slice of pizza that your mouth was watering for triggers the first sign of anger. Or in the realm of dating, he was supposed to intervene for you about the girl you had eyes for. Instead, he took control of the situation and your future girlfriend. Dog!

Unbeknownst to your friend, it’s payback time. You wait until the right moment when no one would suspect, and boom, it’s over! To do the dastardly deed, head to the most likely place an accident could happen without question, Haleakala National Park, Maui, HI. With witnesses in tow, go for a friendly hike into the crater.

Laughter and jokes will ease any suspicions. Continue the hike down to the crater opening. Your victim will have no clue what’s coming as your partners in crime distract him as they shoot photographs. Just when he turns his back, bam, push him over and listen to his last cries of help. (Have a back-up person if you decide to chicken out)  When it’s quite, wipe your hands, high-five your friends and walk away. Life is good and your love life is back on track.

Friends having fun

Second try

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